Seek and You Shall Find

It seems everywhere I turn I hear the word, "Seek." Usually when I hear this, my thoughts turn automatically to seeking God, especially the verse Matthew 7:7. It seems that my automatic, learned word association for "seek" is "God" and "heaven."

Last week I was given a new perspective on "seek." I have an acquaintance who is really, really struggling right now. This person is physically, emotionally and spiritually sick. My heart hurt for this person. I felt as if I could see the despair, the hopelessness, the shame surrounding this person, almost drowning them... But, not quite. YET. I could see small ripples of hope which appeared to be just enough to lift them to the surface. A little hope to allow room to breathe, room for a mustard seed size serving of faith to blossom into courage.

I could remember when I felt these same emotions. I felt lost, alone, useless. My path crosses sometimes with others who carry these burdens that I have carried in the past. When I look into their eyes, I see the void lurking in the background. That dark abyss just waiting to engulf their entire being. I remember what it was like to not care if I was overtaken or undertaken.

There was a time when I would question WHY our paths would cross, now I understand that this is God working in His miraculous way. In His infinite wisdom, He has placed me at that particular place for a reason. Today, my prayer is that I am a vessel for Him; I pray that I am present in the moment, using everything He has given me for His will.

I was talking about these things with a very dear friend, whom wisely stated, "People generally find what they seek." This statement, simple, yet so eloquently spoken, contains such wisdom. These words reminded me that while we are all human fallible, we all still have a CHOICE. God gave us self will. And, we either choose Him or we choose self. It's that simple. But - with God, we can choose Him at any time, day or night. The days and nights of self-will can be lonely, desolate places. The good news is that God never sleeps. He's there, ALWAYS.

I reached out to this sick person. I was rejected. Truthfully, that stung. Hurt my pride a little bit (maybe a lot!) Selfishly, I thought was "finished" with this person. Awhile later, I was gently reminded that I am looking down at the problems because I am living in the solution (my God is bigger than any little problem!) That helped my human self understand a little, comforted my hurt ego. If this SLIGHT rejection hurt me, I cannot even begin to imagine how much it hurts my Creator when I reject Him. Even though I have rejected Him in the past, He still welcomes me to Him. When I seek Him, He reveals Himself to me. Opening His arms, carrying me close to His heart. He loves me UNCONDITIONALLY despite my flaws, despite my wrongs, despite my selfish choices. And, He will love and forgive the hurting soul I met a few days ago... With His help, I can too.