Enough

He said "I just want to be enough. Why am I never enough? You fill your life with everything else - your job, everyone else, and I always come last."

So, she made him first in her life. She surrendered to him, to their marriage, to their love. She made him first. She made him her top priority, with the expectation that she was his top priority. That she was enough for him.

Then, she said, "I just want to be enough. Why am I not enough? I want to be your lover. Why is it not enough that you only look at me for sexual fulfillment? Why does there have to be images and videos of other people? What is wrong with ME?"

She makes a decision to lose weight, become more "aesthetically pleasing" to his eye, which is why he said he enjoyed looking at other women's "erotic photos." She must not quit. She can do this.

But, still, the question remains, will she ever be enough? She gave him her heart, her mind, her soul, her body... If it's not enough now, when she becomes aesthetically pleasing to his eye, then, will she FINALLY be enough? Was she EVER enough? Is she just lying to herself that she CAN be enough? Does he WANT her to be enough, like he is now ENOUGH for her?

Summer Blog post #9

A cooking disaster...

My biggest cooking disasters have to do with my failure to set the timer & ultimately burning what ever I was cooking. I cannot tell you how many times this has happened :(

Summer Blog Post #8

What is my guilty pleasure?

It would have to be reading romance novels... Although I am no longer reading them because my husband told me that he felt as if he was being compared to the person in the books. I definitely do not want him to feel that way!!!

My other guilty pleasure? Not sure...

Summer Blog Post #7

A photo of something that makes me happy.

My girls!!!

Summer Blog Post #6

A nickname you have & why...

This one is easy! I've never had a nickname. Not sure why, but never had a special name.

Be Good to You...

I have a good friend who is really hurting right now. She is filled with sadness, confusion and that feeling of being overwhelmed by life's distractions - these temporary hurts that feel unbearable and will last forever.
I want to take some of this burden from her. I want her to know that she is not alone. I want to tell her that nothing, absolutely nothing, is too big for God to handle. I want her to know that this is how faith grows. I want her to feel the comfort of God's hands holding her, cradling her, protecting her from harm.

I want her to know what a blessing she has been to me. I want her to know that I believe that God has crossed our paths for a reason - there is a divine purpose and plan at work, right here, right now.

I want to tell her to be good to herself. I want her to know that God has lovingly created her, and it is pleasing to Him when we are kind to ourselves.

I want her to know that the enemy is telling her that she is not worthy. The enemy is stalking her, whispering lies into her ear, tempting her to believe that perfection and material achievements are pleasing to God. The deceitful one is luring her away into the dark paths paved in self-will and self-centered desires. The evil one wants her to believe that God has given up on her... That God is not listening... That God is punishing her... That she is unforgivable... That she does not deserve peace, love and joy. The evil one wants her to clothe herself with guilt and shame, blocking out all sunlight of the spirit. The enemy is working to choke all hope, strangle faith and isolate her from love.

My dear sister... I tell you these things because I have heard the lies and the deceitful temptations that are seemingly true. I know the truth today because I have believed the lies. I have followed the deceiver into the darkness. I have abandoned truth in order to believe the lies, trying to find the easier, softer way to happiness. I believed the lies because I selfishly wanted instant gratification. I chased the ever-elusive "happiness" and the price was my soul.

But, that was not the end of my story. God was chasing me, pursuing me, willing to save me. Thank God for His grace and mercy!

Dearest friend... I am here to tell you that you are worth it. You are loved. You are enough. You are accepted, just as you are. You are a child of God, a daughter of the King. You are precious in His sight.

Summer blog challenge - #5

Short term goals for this month...

1. Get back into the habit of recording my daily life on this blog. Even if no one reads it, I can have a way to look back and see how far we have come.

2. Begin contacting some business related contacts that I have been too fearful to talk to - step out on faith & overcome the fear of the unknown.

3. Begin putting out flyers for Celebrate Recovery. I feel it is time to share.

4. Date night every week with my husband.

5. Play with my kids for 30 minutes every day.

Summer Blog Challenge - #4

How did my blog get it's name?

Unspeakable Joy...

This is my heart's desire. I had my first glimpse into the meaning of joy three years ago. My definition of joy is that feeling of well-being, the inner peace that comes with living a life according to spiritual principles. By unspeakable joy, this describes the feeling that I cannot find the words to describe the joy I have within my heart. I have boundless, limitless joy that can only come from God. He has so graciously blessed me with unspeakable joy.

Summer Blog Challenge Day #3

15 Interesting Things About ME....

(this is difficult & I asked David for help, but he suggested not-too-interesting things like "you twirl your hair when you are concentrating or upset" so I am attempting to find 15 interesting things about me - all by myself without assistance. :)

1. I love paper crafting (scrap booking, card making, etc). I would really like to learn & explore mixed media and try my hand at this.

2. I don't really like cooking. It seems under-appreciated at my house, and this is a huge part of my lack of enthusiasm with slaving in the kitchen.

3. My guilty pleasure: romance novels. (Yes, I know...)

4. I don't like country music. In fact, I prefer silence over country music.

5. I can wear children's shoes. (not clothes! But hopefully working on that aspect too!)

6. I love my job. I am one of the lucky ones who actually don't dread going to work every day.

7. My favorite drink is Diet Coke.

8. My favorite vegetable is pickled okra.

9. My heart still races when I see David's name on my caller id.

10. I love my kids & truly want to spend more time with them. This brings me to another challenge of spending 30 minutes per day playing with your kids.

11. I have a secret fascination with the Catholic religious practices. Why? Not sure.

12. I love history - my favorite travel sites are those of historical importance. My top favorite is American Colonial History. My most memorable place visited is Thomas Jefferson's home, Monticello.

13. My favorite city is Boston.

14. I truly do like Oklahoma football, but it is more special because it is a family tradition to go to the OU football games together.

15. My favorite day is TODAY! I try my best to live one day at a time, one moment at a time.

Well... There you go. A little glimpse of random facts about me.

Summer Blog Challenge Day 2

A photo of myself smiling...

This picture was taken on the church can on our way back from Durant Celebrate Recovery. The lighting isn't great, but I think this qualifies as a photo of me smiling a genuine smile. :)

Summer Blog Challenge - Day 1

I am a little late (like 17 days late!) on this Summer Blog Challenge, but here goes.  I am undecided if I want to just do one post per day, or if I want to post multiple prompts and catch up with the other Bloggers.  Today, I am going to just answer one prompt.

Why are you participating in this Blog Challenge?

I have been telling myself that I am going to write EVERYDAY, so when I saw that this was a challenge to write everyday, I decided to take the challenge.

I have also been wanting to write more of my story and more of my life experiences, but it always seems something comes up and I put it off, put it off, and before I know it, the opportunity has passed.