This was supposed to be published November 12, but it didn't get posted. So trying again...
It is simply amazing how quickly God can turn my broken heart into a rejoicing heart! This morning during my quiet time, my thoughts turned to Matthew chapter 14 where Peter asked Jesus to prove Himself. Peter asked Jesus to allow him to join with Jesus out in the middle of the water, or should I paraphrase... Peter said "Prove it - let me walk on the water too."
I have been so much like Peter the past few days. I have been walking this journey, at ease with those whom have been in my boat for awhile. I felt comfortable. I "knew" the plan. I assumed we were all on the same page. I have learned that when I assume, when I "know" things, that this is me becoming too comfortable to grow spiritually. And, like Peter, I become doubtful too easily, needing constant reminders of just how powerful God truly is, and how much He cares for me.
Last night, I took that step onto the water. I followed through with the plan. I had promised someone I would be there, and I went. I kept my eyes focused on Him, and my faith never faltered.
I know I have been vague on the specific details of the events for the past few days. I have made some decisions, and I am trying to keep taking those steps of faith toward Jesus. I know that the storm clouds are out there, somewhere, but I know that He will be carrying me through.
Yesterday I struggled with staying home, staying comfortable, because someone close to me did not feel drawn to the direction my spiritual path was taking. Last night I followed through, and went anyway. I thought I was going alone, but in reality, I was surrounded by family. I was SO blessed for my efforts. All I had to give was myself - openly, honestly and willingly give myself. Just me doing nothing more than this, and He so graciously rewarded me.
What happened to the fear? It evaporated and peace filled all of the dark spaces which clung to my fear.
What of my disappointment in the other person? Today I have faith - I am choosing to focus on God for the answers, and not look to myself or earthly things for solutions.
And, finally, God gave me what I needed to soothe my hurt feelings regarding this person. As I was driving home, I heard a song on the radio that made me think of this person. Somehow, really without any effort on my part, I was filled with love and adoration for this very special person. And, just like that, my hurts were healed, and replaced with a sense of serenity and fulfillment.
Oh, on a post-script note: the verse for last night was Psalm 46:10 - "Be still, and know that I am God. I will exalted among the nations. I will be exalted in the earth." Coincidence? I think not. :)
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